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Visiting cemeteries during Nissan

Category: // By Rabbi: הרב עופר עוזרי // Answer date: 01.01.2021

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Question:

I’m visiting my family in Eretz Yisrael for Pesach. Can I take the opportunity to go my grandfather’s grave on his yahrzeit on the 23rd of Nissan? I know there is custom not to go to Kevarim during the month of Nissan.

Answer:

If you are certain that you will not come to start crying or other emotional pain when you visit you may go visit his Kever. Especially it sounds like you rarely get to visit his Kever in that if you don’t go this year you will not be able to go in Iyar. There are also those who permit it if you don’t get sad , or that he didn’t die tragically or that it has been a long while since he was Niftar.
It is true that many have the custom of not visiting Kevarim during the month of Nissan, however this is not explicitly stated anywhere in Shulchan Aruch. It is only hinted to in the Rema in Hilchot Pesach Siman 429 where the Shulchan Aruch says we don to do Hespedim during Nissan and the Rema adds that we also don’t say Tziduk Hadin during Nisan as well. Tziduk Hadin are the pesukim we say by Kevurah starting with , “Hatzur Tamim Poalo…” There are those who also say these pesukim when visiting a Kever on Yahrzeit. We don’t say during Nissan since it is joyous time that we don’t say Tachanun and on days we don’t say Tachanun we don’t say Tziduk Hadin.
In the Sefer Gesher Hachaim from R’ Y. M. Tukachinsky he writes that there are those who do go to Kevarim during Nissan and those who have the custom not to. One reason is because of Tziduk Hadin. Another reason is because of Chodesh Nissan very Kadosh and it is a month of pure Rachamim for the Briah and the Neshamot pray of the living. The third reason he writes is that many Acharonim write that on Shabbat and Yom Tov there is no benefit to the Meiteim if they go to visit. Since the Neshama is not there by the Kever. The data Maran is unclear here. According to the first reason he argues with the Rema so it would be permitted to go. According the second and third reason though he would agree that it is not a good idea.
Lemaaseh if he has Yahrzeit during Nissan, Devar Moshe permits going to daven during Nisan. Therefore one may go on the Yahrzeit just he should not say all the Techinot which we usually say.
Rav Moshe Shternbuch writes that going to the kever is only actually forbidden during Chag HaPesach itself. The third reason that the Nefesh sin to there is only applicable on the Shabbat and Yom Tov . However sometimes when one visits a Kever ends up crying then if one thinks they will come to that then it is better to not to go during Nissan if possible.
R Yitzchak Yosef in Yalkut Yosef (Bikur Cholim Va’Aveilut 40:27) writes: If the Yom Hashanah falls during Nissan it is permitted to the Beit HaKevarot if they are careful not to say Hesped nor come to cry. If the last day of Shiva falls during Nissan if the Aveilim know that they will not come to cry when they go to the Kever it is permitted for them to visit the Kever. However if they will come to grief they should push it off until after Nissan finishes . Do not go to the Kever during Shiva, this is not permitted. If a Talmid Chacham is Niftar during Nissan it is permitted to do to say a Hesped before the Kevurah even Erev Pesach after Chatzot.”

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